Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Wednesday Woo-Try-Something-New-Hoo

I can find nothing to Woo-Woo except the fact that I am alive and kicking today. I feel like doo-doo instead of Woo-Hoo ;0(

I am excited for Chris Dean of Life Your Way! for getting her first feature of her post A Seussian Tragedy on BlogHer and on Bonbon Break as well! I'm beyond thrilled for her and will post her links to the supporting blogs when they go live so you, my fellow supporters, can go give her some love. We all know the clicks on a blog featuring our work count - each and every precious one ;0)

I also want to say holla to my top followers and say that the list hasn't changed in weeks, so I'm going to hold off on posting it again until it changes. Good thing, too, because Blogger won't let me upload a picture today anyway. Grrr! Nevertheless, get your name on the leader board by interacting! Every comment puts you closer to being a permanent force. You'll be the Luke Skywalker of Everyday Underwear, like Kelly Hashway! The force is strong with that one.

I've been so busy and feeling poorly on top of it lately and my writing has suffered immensely! I miss it, grieve it, and long to get back to it. Alas, I have not had the time and when I do have the time, the energy is zapped from me completely and I fall into nap-attack mode. I literally can't keep my eyes open. It's like narcolepsy, but more annoying since I haven't been diagnosed with narcolepsy.

So I'm doing something new today and posting within a Woo-Hoo. Let's rock this thing...

I tried home made laundry soap recently. I wasn't going to, but everybody else was doing it! I felt so pressured! I felt like I was the only one in the world who wasn't saving tons of money and stretching her Suzie Homemaker muscles.

Result: I came. I saw. I have since returned to store bought. I'm not a bit sorry. I have to honestly say, that stuff sucked! I believe I even used the version off the Duggar site, and you would think they would know what they were doing. Maybe it works for some, but it failed miserably for me.

For one thing, it wouldn't stay in the dispenser in the washing machine. It would go right through when I'd put it in - drained right out! So I either had to hurry up and fill it quick right before I started the load or put it directly in the wash. Frustrating, especially with my front-loader.

I also had to use twice the amount called for. And still, my clothes never smelled clean. They began taking on a hue of dinge as time went on and they just looked horrible!

Also, whether it was related or not, I developed my mystery rash during that time and when I went to the dermatologist for my allergy testing, she told me they have a lot of people coming in who are reacting to the home made laundry soap. It only had three ingredients - Fels Naptha Soap, Borax, and Super Washing Soda - dissolved/heated in water.

"Oooh, natural ;0)" I thought.
"Wonderful!" I thought.
"What could it hurt?" I thought.

Well, that's what I get for thinking!

I'm still not sure what caused my rash, but who knows, it could have been the laundry soap. It could have been a million things, but according to the very expensive doctoring experience, I have an irritant reaction to nickel and Balsam of Peru (stupid Peruvian Balsams... ?) and it was contact dermatitis, which I still think is a crock, but that is another series of blog posts all together.

I did not even have the energy to try another version of home made laundry soap. I just went back to my old standard; the cheap, but effective, Purex. Hallelujah. My clothes sing hallelujah! I sing hallelujah! Order is restored and my clothes look, smell, and feel clean again. I will not leave you again, Purex. I betrayed you once, but I hereby pledge my allegiance to you.

Woo-Hoo to you, Purex. Woo-Hoo to you, my friend.

Thursday, August 23, 2012


My life has been filled with various doctors lately, so I will probably talk about them a lot. You know me, there's something to talk about in every situation and no matter how bad things get, I will find something to laugh and joke about. For the purposes of this post, we are going to laugh about my pap smear appointment.

Ahhh, the pap smear - or "shmear," as I sometimes call it... lovely day for women everywhere. FYI male followers, there is a lot of prep work on shmear day. You have to get completely "nekked" and no, it's not sexy - not one little bit. The only covering you have is a thin jumbo over sized napkin to cover your hoo-ha area and a jumbo over sized napkin with a hole for your head so they can freely examine the upper parts of your bod. Though covered, you're essentially completely exposed. It's not freeing. You feel like Eve after she ate that fateful apple... cover me!

Therefore, everything must be shaved, groomed, plucked, deodorized, and sanitized. Not only that, but your feet are in the stirrups, so your heels are right in her face and your legs are totally exposed while she's "down there" and the attending nurse gets the full meal deal as well. It is necessary to lotion the dry heels and paint your toenails and no stinky feet, puh-lease!

If you don't know what this is, don't ask!

Thank God they either heat them up or use plastic nowadays...

The doctor checks the whole drive train, a real 40 point inspection with free lubrication services and everything. Then she checks under the hood. Nothing inside the engine compartment is off limits. It's quite invasive, intrusive, and 'inspect'-ive and thank you Jesus it's only once a year. And yes, she even goes there. I think I literally sucked in an audible, "WHOA!" when she went there. So not only are you being intruded upon in the most intimate of ways, all in the name of good health, you also have all your junk all up in their faces.

For good measure, they also shine a spotlight on Henrietta Hoo-Ha just to make sure they don't miss anything. No stone is left unturned. I swear, every year, she pokes at a place on Henrietta and goes, "Nope, that's just a freckle." Yes it is. Every year, doctor.

So I'm 43 and old hat with this process, but this time, I had something happen I'd never experienced before. She chit-chats to lighten the mood and we had been discussing our kids and the fact that I adopted mine. She is considering it as well and starts telling me about her foster child and I assume it's a youngster. After all of the pokes (eeeey-aaaaiiiii) and prods and she is almost finished, her cell phone rings.

It's the kid. She answers it. You heard me right. She answers a call from her kid on her cell phone while she's down in Cindy Brown's wonderland. I am still in the stirrups with my knees in the air and she is chatting with the kid about horse riding lessons right between my very thighs.

"Don't worry, the riding lessons are after supper and someone will get you there. Yes. It's tonight. We have plenty of time."

I assume she's talking to a small child, maybe five to seven years old. She keeps talking. I keep laying there, exposed. I'm waiting patiently. The nurse is waiting patiently. I'm already formulating the blog post.

Suddenly irritated and rolling her eyes, she shouts loudly to the child, "Well, I'm in the middle of a pap smear! (pause) I'll talk to you later about it. Okay. Bye."

She turns to me and says, "That was my 14 year old boy."

Oh - my - God. Think Everyday Underwear style for just one tiny moment here.

What if she had accidentally hit the video chat button on her cell phone while she was in front of my hoo-ha? What if? Or the camera button? Well, I must tell you that even I was a little mortified at the incident. But lucky for me, a humor blogger, it gave me a story to tell and so instead, I chuckled and brushed it off, like I do a lot of things.

"Wow," I thought. Just wow.

So I am curious... do any of you have a shmear story you'd like to share? Top mine. I dare ya.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Wednesday Woo-Hoo: It's My Birthday!

Hey, hey, heeeeeyyyyyy! It's my birthday! And my family didn't forget this year! I'm old. Okay, old-ish. Okay, not really, but it's fun to make like all my problems are because I'm old. I posted this on my personal Facebook page today:

"I'm 43 today. Yup, these danged birthdays are definitely aging me!" I included this updated profile pic:
Flattering, eh? You know how you get up in the morning and look like dog butt? Well, this is Cindy Brown at first blush 5 a.m. It's actually usually much worse than that. Look, here's my pic from when I was 40.
Any of you who think it's easy getting to this every day:
Bite me. It takes work, practice, curling devices, decent clothes, accessories and make-up skills. Then voila! I'm beauteous. No pretenses here. I just know how to work it, given the right tools for success.

Now, on to other Woo-Hoos:

My Everyday Underwear Facebook page hit 100 likes! I'm going for 10,000 before I give anything away, so If you haven't "liked" the page, which does have different content than my blog, please do so at

I got another blog award. Well, sort of. It was a blanket award, but I'll take it because I think that Kelly Hashway, author of young adult and middle grade novels such as Touch of Death, would definitely bestow me with this award personally anyway because she knows I'm always being me. She has confirmed that I deserve this award, so I've staked my claim! The proof is in the pictures, people. I am definitely being me. Shield your eyes.

A fact about myself is that there is no way in a barrel of monkeys that I have the time to give you 18 facts about myself and answer 11 questions and pass it on to unlimited people, but I will definitely give a hearty shout-out to Michelle at Motley News and pass this award along to her for keeping it real. Love her!

I'm also giving Kelly Hashway the Don't Do a Damn Thing Award. She works too hard. You know the rules: Accept, Do Nothing, Take a nap, Kelly!

I have lots of things I could complain about this week, but I won't. I have hope that things will slow down for me and I'll have more time to write soon. It seems like all I have time for is my Woo-Hoos! Hang in there... the kids go back to school in two days ;0)

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Wednesday Woo-Slot Machine Lucky

My Wednesday Woo-Hoo is going to be shorter today, I promise. Maybe.

Woo-Hoo number one is that today, I looked at my Twitter screen and I noticed I have had this many Tweets:
I just happen to think that's super cool. When anything says 777, I think of "winning" and I'm having a Charlie Sheen at the slot machines moment. It means something lucky is coming my way. 666, I evil hiss at you and throw away receipts equaling six dollars and sixty-six cents in the trash! Phooey, spit, spit!

Number two Woo-Hoo is that I am some body's very first guest post and it is my dear friend, made right here in the blog world, Lisa Weinstein. Her blog focus is a humorous look at life as the mom of a teen, coping with middle age, and celebrating nearly two decades of marriage with the love of her life.

Lisa's writing is always funny and clean, which is hard to find. Follow her on twitter @prleebee and please stop by her blog to read my guest post at The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein. She had some formatting problems, but was able to fix most of them before collapsing into bed, a kindred tired mom spirit. Hang in there, Lisa! We all have those things happen ;0)

Woo-Hoo number three is that my Everyday Underwear Top Commentator leader board has somehow duplicated Karen Anderson. Woo-Hoo Karen! You are a star twice and I have no idea why it did that, so I'm just super woo-hooing you, LOL! Kelly Hashway is still kicking butt and staying on top, however, even if you combine Karen's two rankings.
Woo-Hoo that I made it through this last week. I have had a rough week and it was not easy to keep a positive attitude. I pity my hub and kids for having to put up with me, but alas, bad weeks are good writing material and I have more things to write about than I have time to write, which is a good thing. I can't wait to share my stories and wish I had more time to write them - maybe when the kids are back in school in a few weeks? Hmmmm. WOO-HOO!

Sunday, August 5, 2012

WWJD Part II - The Day the Shamanic Priestess Came to Lunch

My husband and I joined a Christian writers group many years ago. The group was known by an acronym: ECRU - Effingham Christian 'Riters United. A friend of ours started it and I can really credit him (and his very supportive wife) with giving my writing career wings. It was the first forum in which I received feedback for my writing. I've been addicted pretty much ever since.

When our friend decided to pass the baton, my husband and I took over the group. We kept the acronym, modifying it slightly to ECWU - Effingham Christian Writers United. We met at the local library except for this particular July meeting, when we hosted a cookout at our house.

Someone had inquired at the library about joining a writers group and after a brief phone conversation and directions given, we had a new visitor in our midst. We started the meeting with a prayer and began discussing various Christian writing topics.

In the middle of the meeting, our newcomer, Billie, suddenly spoke up and stated, "I'm really sorry, I didn't realize this was a Christian writers group. I'm a Wiccan. I'm actually a practicing witch."


I think at that moment, my eyes were as big as saucers. I was speechless and you know how hard that is to make happen! My tongue was in a knot. Me, not know spee-king. Yes, that's right. I couldn't speak, unsure of how to respond to that announcement. Nobody else knew what to say either. The moment hung in the air like a scene out of The Matrix, inexplicably suspended in time.

After what seemed like a thousand lifetimes (a few seconds, in reality), my husband finally cracked the egg of silence and said, "Well, that... is very interesting," and continued with the meeting as though nothing happened.

There was a huge elephant in the room who remained disguised as a deer in headlights for the duration of the meeting. Billie had a book in her hand she had written called Sister Light: Book One: of Shadows. Billie shared that she writes mystery, paranormal romance, science fiction and fantasy. She had experience with a book. She was interested in being in a community of writers. We liked her. We really liked her! We were impressed with her as a writer and as a person.

We decided we'd better burn her at the stake, though, just to be safe. It was a cookout, after all. We had people to feed! Just kidding. We actually told her we weren't allowed to play with her kind. Gotcha - kidding again! We had a great meeting and broke bread with her just like anybody else. Do you know that some groups might have asked her to leave immediately? Why, I never!

After the meeting, we spoke to Billie at length one-on-one and found her to be a lovely young woman with a true passion for writing we could appreciate and benefit from and we felt the group would benefit from her presence as well. We discussed with her a few details about protocol and set them in writing (of course) as handouts for future new members of the group.

Basically, it stated that you weren't required to be Christian to join the group, but that it would be clearly understood that we were a Christian group, that there would be prayer and talk of God, and that a Christian atmosphere and theme were to be expected. Further, there would be no religious debate, promoting other faiths, or inappropriate behavior allowed by anyone. After all, even being a Christian group, we were diverse. Would the Catholics fight with the Baptists? Nope, not on our watch. 

She will now tell you that she is actually a Shamanic Priestess, but that the terms she used to describe herself to the group were the closest thing she thought we could relate to.

She could have said she was a Star Trooper and I would have been just as confused as to what had just taken place, so really, it didn't matter to me. All I knew was that there was a witch at our Christian Writers Group and it was one of the most interesting things I could never have imagined happening and we were in charge of what to do about it.

After Billie and all of our other guests were gone that day, I slumped onto the couch with my husband. I said, "Welp, this is a real 'What Would Jesus Do?' moment, isn't it?"

We knew that if we allowed Billie to remain in the group, we would be criticized by some members and that some members would likely leave the group. We also knew that if we rejected Billie, we would be crappy examples of Christians. Above all, we wanted to be loving and accepting and share our group with Billie.

We did not receive criticism per se, but we did receive some concern from some of the members. We basically responded with, "We've invited Billie to stay and don't make a big deal out of it. If anything comes up we need to address, we will handle it." Our members were cool with that. They trusted our judgment and our decision as leaders of the group and we were thankful for that. If we didn't share our faith in a positive light for her, who would?

The reaction from outsiders was the most frightening. People who weren't in our group were mortified that we would welcome her and thought we were making a terrible mistake. We felt a good deal of persecution from outsiders, who you would think would not be so opinionated, seeing that they had no stake in it. Funny that the ones who weren't in our group were the most vocal and most against the idea of having Billie remain in the group. It showed the levels of fear and how some people let it control them. We did not subscribe to any such fear and we never will.

We not only invited Billie to stay in the group, but to read some of her work at the next meeting and share with us what she knew about publishing. Billie ended up being a valued member of our group. She contributed work for meetings which was appropriate for a Christian audience. She sat quietly and respectfully during our prayer time (I admit it, I peeked to see what she was doing while we prayed), and her enthusiasm about the craft of writing was contagious. We all contracted that virus from her and were happy to receive it with open arms.

Today, you can find Billie and her many books (please note that some are adult themed material) at and Billie is still my online friend, even though she has moved away and so have we and we no longer run the group. I miss chatting with her. Her bubbly personality is just infectious!

Billie has approved this posting and has agreed to do an opposite viewpoint response post for me on Everyday Underwear where she will talk about her perspective on joining the group. I can only hope that Billie benefited from us as much as we did from her. We miss you, Billie, and I look forward to introducing you and your writing to my diverse group of followers here at Everyday Underwear!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Wednesday Woo-Hoo Workout - or Not

Woo-hoo to a friend who created a unique blog spot for men who are overweight and proud to be large! Fat Guy Recipes will show you how to keep that bodacious belly in shape - the shape of round, of course. Frank will post recipes (yum) that will not appear in any diet books. He also has a Facebook page you or your big boys can join at The Recipes of Becoming a Fat Guy. Let's give Frank Jenkins a plug, friends!

I haven't been working out much lately, I'm working on my roundness as well. I've done some walking and even some hula-hooping (you heard me right!) and I did the Wii one day, which is fun, but for the most part, I've been a slug. My husband is doing P90X and making me look bad.

We have a new person on the board this week - Top Commentators, welcome Melody Lowes, whose prose I greatly admire!

I have given great thought to guest posting and although I am coming up with some rules for engagement (to be added in as a page later) in order to limit myself, I will be guest posting this next week for Lisa Weinstein at The Mixed Up Brains of Lisa Weinstein. I made friends with Lisa when I first started blogging and she is building her audience, so check her out! And Lisa, my dear, you get the Don't Do a Damn Thing Award this week! Take a nap. I took one today and it was lovely.

Pass it along or just put it on your mantel and stare at it and know that you are appreciated. The anticipated date for my guest post will be 8/8/12 and I will post a link.

I have been very overwhelmed this past week and haven't blogged and it's killing me. I'm behind in reading others' work and that's killing me. I'm doing too much for too many people and that's killing me. Okay, okay, you know I have a tendency to exaggerate. Life is going well, it's just busy. And I'm not dead just yet.

I am looking forward to blogging about ticks, my pap smear and impending ENT appointment, chasing sheep, and chin hairs very soon, have no fear. Well, perhaps you should fear those things if you need a new neuroses, I don't know. Hang around this blog long enough and you will learn all of mine!

Well, that segued into a prompt! What's your neuroses? What do you spend too much time stressing about? I spend too much time worrying about the fact that I don't have enough time in life - HA! Funny.