Sunday, November 11, 2012

The Hair of My Chinny Chin Chin

One night, I was watching TV while mindlessly checking the landscape of my chin. I felt something. I assumed it was a blemish, but it wasn't. A trip to the mirror revealed the ugly truth. This was worse than a blemish.

This sinister demon keeping residence on my face... was chin hair!
 
Eeks! What is that?
Bad enough, chin hair on a woman, but this was a chin hair on steroids. I couldn't believe it. The thing was a quarter inch long, at least. It had hidden itself so well, curled under the curvature of my jaw line so tightly that I hadn't noticed it for how long? I have no idea!

I'm no stranger to facial hair. I sport what's referred to as peach fuzz and it's not uncommon for me to have a wiry hair occasionally. Pluck! Be gone! I banish you from the kingdom of Faceopotamia! Perhaps it's a genetic gift from my father. He did, in fact, sport a beard of his own.

Very fine blond hair blankets my face if I let it do its thing. However, I'm not a very good sport about this facial hair thing and therefore, I get rid of it with a dainty little battery operated personal shaver that makes my lady beard experience seem more feminine. It's a cute little shaver. I appreciate that. I'd be horrified to have to use a Mach 20 - or however many blades Gillette has come up with for men to shear themselves with these days.

As a teen, I worked for a time in a nursing home in the developmentally disabled wing. There was a woman who didn't speak, didn't walk on her own, and family didn't visit her. She seemed happy, however. She had very long chin hairs and I always wondered why nobody plucked them for her. Was it because she didn't go out in public? Was it "not my job" for any employee of the nursing home? Were they afraid she'd punch them if they messed with her facial hair? Perhaps they had tried. I do not know.

The burning question in my mind is this: Who will pluck my chin hairs and shave my peach fuzz when I'm old? Who, I ask you... WHO? Whoooooooo.........?

And who will pluck yours?

26 comments:

  1. Hopefully our daughters will be there with tweezers (and lots of love) in hand when we can no longer manager to pluck our own facial hair. And I can appreciate! I have this one, pesky hair that pops out on the same place on my chin every few weeks until I pluck it away, only for it to return again and again and again!

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  2. Ha! Cindy I did a blog on my mustache not long ago! Frightening...seriously. At least you have daughters that may do you the favor. I'm childless and hoping some empathetic friend or nursing home employee will help me out?

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  3. I already told me husband that if we don't have daughters - tag, he's it. I am on chin-patrol as well as the monitor of lady-stache for my mom and take the responsibility very seriously.

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  4. THis is too funny. I can relate. And it's always while watching t.v. I absently run my fingers over the bottom of my chin to 'check' for stubble. I actually plucked my Grandma's for her a few times but I'm not sure what I'll do when I'm old and blind. Maybe I'll just sport a beard and pretend I'm a man.

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  5. This is so funny … and so full of famine thinking. Great post.

    When I get that old … that I can’t pick it myself .. I will shave it, can miss it then.

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  6. No one ever warned me how very undignified getting old can be. I mean, weird hairs in the wrong places, chins on top of chins, things that swing and hang in the wrong places, parts that are sore for no reason - humph. You might not need to worry about your chin hairs - the next generation may just oust us all from the planet to save on energy bills or something. (Aren't things looking up??) :) Great post, Cindy!

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  7. As a dude, I know this shouldn't have hit so close to home, but I'm very sensitive when it comes to stray hairs. So much so, that my girlfriend bought me a fancy pair of travel tweezers for my birthday (seriously...) so that I'd never have to be caught in a situation where I wouldn't be able to pluck unwanted strays. Because if I find one, so help me God it WILL be taken down!


    Anyways, I feel your pain.

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  8. Well, that is a question, now isn't it? I'm still pulling gray hairs out of my head. I don't have enough to dye my hair yet, so I keep plucking!

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  9. I've asked my husband to be on alert, but nary a hair has he spotted and I've had some doozies! I'm doomed!! Best of luck to you. Or get a highly magnified mirror.

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  10. You will always be responsible for your own chin hairs but I think after a long while people kind of give up. Besides we might need extra hair in the afterlife?

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  11. Hmmm. Food (er, hair) for thought...

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  12. I have the aforementioned mirrors, but it's remembering to check more often that is the challenge!

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  13. Kelly, you'll give up on that eventually. Trust me. I only pluck the gray hairs now if they're curly and out of control.

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  14. Good for her! Men should be just as prepared as women. Unsightly stray hair is not right on anyone. I promise, if I ever meet you and you have anything amiss, I will alert you immediately, especially since I know you have the proper tools to take care of it. A good pair of tweezers is a necessity, in my opinion ;0)

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  15. You betcha! I don't think it has that much to do with getting old in my case, though. I've dealt with this hair for a long time. In the words of somebody - can't remember who - "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." I think it had something to do with some sort of class my kids were involved with. Good advice, nonetheless.

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  16. Shave it, pluck it, rip it off with wax strips... it's gotta go!

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  17. Awww! Good for you for helping your granny! No self-respecting woman wants to be seen with long wild hairs, nursing home or not - at least when they are in a right mind to be aware of it, which they most likely were at one time or another. I'm publicly stating now in case some aide is reading my blog in 2050.

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  18. We need more people like you in America, Kate ;0)

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  19. LOL, I will have to go back and look for that post Jacqueline! I must have missed it. Oh, and no way do I count on my daughters. At least not one of them, but perhaps the more sensitive and empathetic one.

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  20. Doesn't it make you wonder if it's just a little tiny bit of male DNA? I do have a rather manly side sometimes...

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  21. I've recently been told my testosterone levels are off the charts high, which explains my chin hair. I'll be beginning treatment soon to get my hormones more in balance, and hopefully that will resolve the issue.

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  22. Hmmm, I'd be interested to know what my testosterone levels are. I am sometimes more characteristic of male behavior than female. Just try to beat me in a burping contest, LOL!

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  23. I know. I'm enjoying it while it lasts. LOL

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  24. I have wondered who will pluck my hairs, especially if my eyesight gets any worse. I pluck all those silly hairs, and when I go to the hairdresser, she waxes my chin along with my upper lip and eyebrows. Chin hairs, begone!

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  25. The battle cry of women everywhere!

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