Monday, February 6, 2012

Does There Always Have To Be A Silver Lining, God? Really?

Recently, I colored my hair. I've done this since I was a teenager and I'm now 42 years old. It's nothing new for me. I've had it done at the salon. I've done it at home. Heck, I've even permed my own hair with no help. But this time, something was different. Oh, so different.

I spruced up the ends with some leftover blond color after doing my daughter's hair. It's Feria - good stuff, for home color. I didn't perform any torture rituals like pulling through a cap, and there we no clips to facilitate fancy partitioning of hair like in the instructions. I just dabbed some on here and there in a very haphazard manner, waited forty minutes, and rinsed. Normal. I've done it many times. I dried it and styled it just as I normally do. Done and satisfied with my handiwork, I gazed at my reflection in the mirror. I thought to myself, "Beth and Chandra would be proud!" I'd had many years of apprenticeship by watching my former hairdressers, my unknowing tutors. I have since moved far away from them, however, and have found no suitable replacements. I've made do. I was pleased with myself. I'd done a very decent job, as usual.

Then came the abnormal part, or as Marty Feldman would say in Young Frankenstein "Abby Normal." I noticed it. What was that in my hair? Why, there's some kind of discoloration there! What the..? Is that toothpaste or something? I gently lifted a section of my lovely blond hair and stared in disbelief at what lay lurking underneath.

I am inserting a clip from the original movie Psycho here because it is so very appropriate. It is exactly what ran through my mind at that very moment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT7a8Gv9qdA

In my head, I heard the distinctive screeching musical horror violin sounds and female high pitched horror movie screaming akin to that which is heard at approximately the 45 second mark in the clip. I looked in the mirror to see if my expression matched what was running through my mind. It didn't. I was simply staring at myself with a blank expression of confusion and my jaw hanging open. My mind raced. For a moment, I struggled to find a better explanation for what I saw. It was... it... was... gray hair!

Now let me be very clear in my description of horror here. I've had gray hairs before. Many times, in fact, have I plucked individual ones from my head without any consequence or thought. But this was not a few pluckable hairs. This was a patch, a streak! "Oh my word, this is not pluckable," I thought. I checked my expression in the mirror again. I was still staring at myself in disbelief. When did this happen? How did I just now notice this? Am I going to die soon?! But I feel so young! Nooooooooooo!!!!! Whyyyyyyyy????? Why, why, whyyyyyy?

Regaining my composure, my first reaction to my own horrified reaction was laughter. "Now that was funny!" Then I thought, "I can't wait to blog about this. Wait, who would do that? Me, that's who!" So, there you have it. You are officially an observer of the horrific or hilarious, however you perceive it, aging process of Cindy Brown, your Everyday Underwear color technician. Perhaps I'll emulate Stacy London of What Not To Wear fame and just go with it. Wait, her gray streak is actually cool. Dang it! Oh well. Welcome, silver lining. Come on in. It appears you are here to stay.

19 comments:

  1. Cindy....i sooooo relate :/ <3 ya ...Ginny

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    1. Ok, I know a couple of Ginnys, neither of which I can imagine going gray with me, but nevertheless, I am happy I am not alone!

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  2. I have a pretty silver streak up by my right eye and I think I am in love with it!

    I'm 42, as well. And I love my silver lining, and the wisdom I imagine it represents!

    I hope you embrace those pretty silver strands with joy and peace, and carry them a long, long way further in life....

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    1. Why, thank you, Shan! I think I may embrace the gray instead of coloring it out. I'm not sure yet. I know some ladies who look fabulous with their gray! I'm just not sure if I'm one of them yet...

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  3. Cindy, that is so funny. If I didn't color my hair, I would have a head full of gray hair. But, I am older than my husband and refuse to LOOK older :) I guess I'm just vain :)

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    1. Eh, vanity-shmanity. Do what you like with your hair and be happy! Men get to look "distinguished". Women, I don't really know what term we get when we go gray. We can't all be (or be married to) George Clooney either ;0)

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  4. I have grey-tons-over each ear. I look so old to myself sometimes, today is one of those days.

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  5. Great post. I started going grey when I was 29 and now, at 46, I am 75% white. A couple of years ago, having been a natural blonde, I decided that I'd accept my grey/white and just blend it in with blonde highlights. At the end of last year, I thought 'to hell with that' and went back to being an unnatural brunette. Just because I'm grey, doesn't mean that everybody else has to.

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    1. Sorry meant to say, "just because 'I know that' I'm grey...

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    2. Oh, we've all gotta go sometime... not die, but make 'do or dye, ha ha!

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  6. I suppose the grey lining, as it were, is that you haven't found any grey down south.. or have you? I smell another blog. I found a grey eyebrow lash. Not that's f'd.

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    1. Well, that is just an odd thing. Hmmmm. I actually live in the midwest, so I am not sure whether gray hair is more or less prevalent "down south" - LOL!!!! Oh, and gray eyebrow lashes - yikes! I had not even thought about that! Or the other thing either, although who would see that?

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  7. Prematurely silver hair runs in my family, though I didn't inherit it. I have a cousin who, IMO, is strikingly beautiful with her silver hair and dark eyebrows.

    I do have gray coming in, and don't try to have it colored over, though I get my hair weaved to blend in the summer blonde bleaching that just happens (looks pretty much like your underlayers, as a matter of fact). Not brave enough to color my own hair, since that time as a teenager it came out olive GREEN.

    My eyebrows are increasingly gray, which I pluck. Hopefully I will still enough have dark hairs to avoid the hairless look in a few years, or learn how to paint 'em on.

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    1. Wow, I think you just clarified for me why women pluck themselves until they have no eyebrows left! I always wondered why women would do that. I wonder if you begin to lose them along with thinning hair on top as well with age? Yuck. Don't like aging! Fountain of youth, where are you??!!!

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  8. I started getting grey in my 30s, if that helps...And what hasn't been greying has been receding, or disappearing altogether. I'd rather it grey!

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    1. Men have the benefit of appearing "distinguished" when going grey. I'll settle for "distinctive" if it suits me. If not, I'll be hitting the bottle every six weeks. Hair color bottle, that is.

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  9. Cindy,

    I was embracing my gray hair (I have a few white patches on the side that would probably grow out like Stacy London's streak in my dark hair). I say was, because two days ago, I decided that if my hair was turning white I should just go back to being a blond like I was as a child. Bad move. After two attempts to lighten past a very bad orange hue, I went back to brown. I have been dealing with either scalp burn or a bad allergic reaction now for three days. And my hair is like cinnamon...brownish red, not bad, but I'm not keeping it. When my scalp heals....ugh, words I hope I never have to use together again...but when it does, I'll go dark again and probably start letting the gray show....again. All that fo' nothin!

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    1. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, probably give it a try with the gray. We'll see!

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