Friday, April 27, 2012

How Do I Get This Fuzzball Off My Nipple?

Did you ever have one of those days? I'm talking about one of those days when you just can't hardly take it anymore. I'm talking about those days when you just want to take a long, long nap and you really don't care if you ever wake up because that would mean you are committed to joining the ranks of reality again. I'm talking about those days when you wonder to yourself, "How in the heck to I get this fuzzball off my nipple?"

Here, perhaps a graphic will help you understand what I mean.

My poor Penny with 5 week old pups

Look at her face. I know what she's thinking. She's thinking, "I have to raise these things until they're HOW OLD!? Lord, how do I get this fuzzball off my nipple? Help me..."


Keep in mind that as large breed dogs, these pups are absolutely huge. At five weeks old, these puppies are bigger than our year old cats or our mini-weenie. They're fat chunks of fur and they just hang from my poor Penny's nipples like a Pitbull hanging from a rope, jaws mercilessly clamped in place. They don't even try to support themselves. They could stand up, but they don't. They hang. When Penny runs, her belly hangs so low that the loose skin flops from side to side like heavy water balloons. This is why I never had my own children. I adopted.


As humans, we get tired. Not just moms, but as any living being, life can be exhausting. Penny's pups are very cute and she loves them, no doubt. Their daddy loves them too. But he is so big that he can inadvertently hurt them without meaning to. He has learned that human mommy will get very mad at him if he hurts a pup, so all interaction with papa dog is monitored. And certainly NEVER around food. Ever. Daddy doesn't care if you're a cute little puppy. He'll bite your head off for some kibble. My husband gets the same way when he's really cranky. Buddy's not a very good puppy babysitter either, even though he tries. One loving plop of his paw on a pup sends it crying like it's being stabbed to death. It's quite dramatic. And mama Penny could care less. She's tired.

Buddy and daughter sweetie moment. Just starting to focus, this sweet little girl yelped
and ran when she realized how big Buddy really was.

My pups are weaning. It's time. They're almost ready to go to new homes. I just have to post a few pics because I can't resist. Then this blog post is over because I have to go get my kids from the bus stop. How long do I have to raise those things? [Repeats chant - seven more years max - seven more years max]




I'm fairly certain that if our offspring weren't so darn cute sometimes, we would all eat our young. I know there have been times when I've considered going all Hannibal Lecter on my own children and eating their liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. Thank God for parental restraint. I exercise that muscle almost daily.

My children both just made their respective cheerleading teams. Normally positive about such things, the first thing I thought was, "Crap. This is going to cost a lot of money. Money for outfits. Money for hair products. Money for snacks at every game. Money for gas to pick them up from every practice and game. Money, travel, money, transport, money, shuttle, money, clothes, money, food. Mama exhaustion."

But what came out of my mouth, like a good mother, was this: "Congratulations, honey, I'm so proud of you!"

I'm sure Penny is proud of her pups too. She just likes to go in the woods and hide behind a tree occasionally so they don't see her. I get that, Penny. I sooooo get that.

25 comments:

  1. I think I'm having one of those kinds of weeks - - adorable pictures, though!  I think I need to go home and check out for a couple of hours (days, weeks . . .).
    And, I am so glad I'm not the only one who  thinks of the $ it will cost when my children wanted to play sports, etc. . . .and grateful that I only thought it :)  Thanks for making me feel almost "normal."  

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  2. Sooo cute!  Great Pyrenees? Just adorable puppies.  :-)    Hope you find wonderful homes for all of them. 

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  3. How funny but also true. I remember when my boys were smaller and while I adored playing with them - sometimes I just wanted to hide. So I would go outside and literally hide just for a few minutes. One day my oldest found me and he STILL thought I was playing. Gotta love 'em! As for your title I was thinking you were having a VERY bad day.

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  4. I snorted out loud with laughter...that said? I am not a Mama so I'll never know...not directly. I never wanted to be a Mama. I became a stepMama instead. And now I'm a Stepma (not Grandma). :-)

    The pups are gorgeous and freaking cute!!

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  5. Omg...hysterical!

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  6. Aw! Love the blog and so true! Pics are awesome. Great job of capturing the puppies expression.

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  7. I don't have kids, but I do have kids in my life, and your post is sooo relatable. I wish I lived in your town, not only because you make me laugh, but also because those fuzzballs are so adorable that I fear my life might be incomplete without having one. I love the picture of Buddy and his daughter nose-to-nose!    

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  8. Cindy, the doggies are so cute, and I totally understand about cheerleading.  We are in soccer season now.  What is think is, crap, there goes my ability to sleep late on Saturday mornings.  What I say is, great game!
    Lisa

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  9. Adorable! We just brought home our own little bundle of fur today, a curly chocolate labradoodle named Doodles (can you tell we have an 8-year old?). We are head-over-heels, but already exhausted! :-) Life is good.

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  10. Awwww! Doodles! That's so cute :) It is a bit like having a newborn when you bring home a puppy, but worth it in the end when you have gained an irreplaceable member of the family.

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  11. Cara, if we lived in the same town, I would not have a voice left from talking and gabbing with you constantly. When I watched the video of you on your site when I first "met" you online, I knew that you would be my friend if we became connected! You can come and visit my fuzzballs anytime you're near central IL too!

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  12. Thank you, Marilyn! I love those little pups (and my big puppies too) and wouldn't know what to do without them now, even though I've always been a cat person. Now I'm both, but I lean toward my fluffy dogs! Someday I'll include pics of my cats in a post too.

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  13. Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for stopping by :)

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  14. Wow, you and I have something in common that I will talk about on my blog someday. I never wanted to be a mama either until I met these kids and they are my stepkids that I officially adopted.

    I love my pups! I talk nicer to them than I do to my own kids! LOL!

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  15. Yes, Great Pyrenees will be featured a lot on my blog. As a fellow dog owner, you understand. My mama and papa are not even full grown yet, but won't get as big as yours!

    Thanks for stopping by today :)

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  16. Yep, you're "normal"- LOL! Leave it to me to say what others only think...

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  17. They are so cute! I'm such a sucker for a puppy. 

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  18. Great post, Cindy.  Or should I say Grrrrr-eat post.  Yes, us mommy's can get feeling put upon much like Penny.  Money, money, money it feels like when they stop breast feeding they go straight for your wallet! LOL

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  19. Thanks! I love 'em a lot, but oh they wear me out!

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  20. I think too, it was the loose skin dragging on the floor, that turned me off to having my own kids. And after 3 friggin Lacrosse games in one day and then a soccer and yet another friggin Lacrosse game on the other, does make me think that it's a wonder mom's don't eat their young. Great post. So cute.

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  21. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment, fellow mom! I assume you're a mom, since it's right there in your username and all ;0)

    I have to keep thinking to myself that I am sacrificing now, but I will really enjoy it when they grow up to be well-rounded individuals. I hope they do. They'd better. LOL!

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