With blind trust, I write this, hoping that you will heed my desired wishes. I'm not sorry to tell you that I do not want to help you with your charity project, even with the 20% commission incentive. Though I have never met you before, I can say that you repulse me.
Thank you for contacting me also about the investigation. I'm glad nobody else knows we are in communication. I am so sorry that huge amount of money has been laying dormant in your account unclaimed for so many years. Still, I don't want it. Stop trying to give it to me. I'm sure someone else would like your money. I can't - and won't - help you. Ever.
I know that you are fast, friendly, and flexible, but I do not need your low rate interest loan or fast money. No fast money. No dirty money. No money, no money, no money!
It is terrible that you are a widow and that you have colorectal cancer and heart disease which cannot be cured, but I still do not wish to take the distribution of your wealth. Furthermore, I don't care about your cancer. Really. And I don't care if you think that's mean of me to say.
I do not wish to come together with you, Abdul, and "reason what you have to share with me." Your trade and the important role I play in its $186 million is of little concern to me. I have bigger fish to fry. Go jump off a Nigerian cliff. I have laundry to do.
I am not in the market for a new car today and if I were, a stranger sending me an e-mail would be the last place I'd start looking. Leave me alone!
It is fantastic that I have won the Yahoo Microsoft Euro Lottery. Heck, I don't even remember entering! However, you can keep your money and shove it where the sun don't shine, brother.
Wow, thanks for quoting me some scripture in your Western Union message. It is great that you cannot deceive me because your Bible says, "What shall it profit a man to gain material things and lose your soul?" You are very insightful, but your guilt trip is not working. Keep thumbing through that book, though, charlatan.
Additionally, thank you for paying the fee for my bank draft so my DHL package can be delivered. Whew! I wonder what is coming from Britain for me? Still, I do not feel comfortable giving you a copy of my driver's license. Shove it, mister!
I am so glad you contacted me about the problems with my PayPal, Chase, and other bank accounts I didn't even know I had. If I want to re-activate them and verify my information, I will go through their actual site and I would never be caught dead clicking on a link you sent me in your faked e-mail. Bite me!
Cindy Brown (a.k.a. Fed up with my daily junk mail folder contents!)